Criminal Minds Drinking Game Rules, Themed Cocktails & Party Ideas

If you’ve ever binge-watched Criminal Minds and thought, “Wow, this show would make a fantastic drinking game,” congratulations—you’re one of us. With its intense FBI profiling, plot twists, and the sheer number of times someone says “unsub,” it’s the perfect show to turn into a boozy challenge.

Whether you’re watching for the first time or rewatching for the hundredth (no judgment), this drinking game will make every BAU case even more thrilling—if not slightly more blurry. Just remember: drink responsibly, and don’t go full unsub! Now, grab your drink of choice and get ready—because the wheels are up in 30.

How to Play the Criminal Minds Drinking Game

This game works best with a group of friends, but hey, if you’re solo-bingeing Criminal Minds for the fifth time, we won’t judge.

Basic Setup:

1. Choose Your Drink Level:
   • Casual Fan Mode – Sip here and there, you’re just here for the vibes.
   • FBI Trainee Mode – Shots for serious events, sips for common moments.
   • BAU Hardcore Mode – Hope your liver is as strong as Rossi’s scotch collection.
2. Decide Your Drinking Triggers:
   • You can stick to character-based rules, plot-based rules, or mix both for maximum chaos.
   • If you need a challenge, scroll down to our Hardcore Player Bonus Rules.
3. Play Safely:
   • Drink water between rounds.
   • Keep snacks on hand (we suggest Rossi-inspired Italian finger foods).
   • Set a limit—don’t end up on your own BAU case.

Criminal Minds Character-Based Drinking Rules

These rules are based on the BAU’s most iconic behaviors and tropes.

Take a Sip When…

• Garcia calls someone “Baby Girl.”
• Hotch stares at someone without blinking.
• JJ delivers bad news in the most sympathetic voice possible.
• Reid starts listing off statistics no one asked for.
• Morgan calls someone “Kid.”

Take Two Sips When…

• A main character dramatically kicks down a door.
• Someone says, “We’re looking for an unsub.”
• The team flies in the BAU jet.
• Reid gets kidnapped (again).
• The profile suddenly changes mid-episode.

Finish Your Drink If…

• A team member gets taken hostage (because, of course).
• The unsub has a traumatic childhood backstory.
• The killer turns out to be someone who was interviewed earlier.
• Hotch actually smiles. (A rare event.)

Plot-Based Drinking Triggers for Criminal Minds

For those who want a little more structure in their chaos, here are the best episode tropes to track.

Sip When…

• The team lands in a new city.
• They give a profile to the local cops.
• The phrase “serial offender” is used.
• A witness says, “He seemed like such a nice guy.”

Take Two Sips If…

• The killer’s motive is daddy issues.
• Someone dramatically quits their job (but comes back later).
• A random child provides an essential clue.
• A main character disobeys orders and gets in trouble.

Finish Your Drink If…

• The unsub turns out to be TWO people.
• The killer is connected to someone on the team.
• A BAU member gets personally targeted by an unsub.
• You correctly guess the killer before the halfway mark.

Bonus Rules for Hardcore Players

Want to take things to the next level? (Proceed with caution.)

💣 Blackout Mode – Take a shot every time Hotch says, “Wheels up in 30.”
💣 Survival Mode – If you guess the wrong unsub, you can only drink water until the next episode.
💣 Morgan Kick Challenge – Every time Morgan kicks down a door, everyone takes a shot and yells, “He’s too pretty to use a key!”

Best Episodes for Playing Criminal Minds Drinking Game

Some episodes are just built for this drinking game. Here are the best ones:

Most Chaotic Unsub Episodes:

1. Mr. Scratch (Season 10, Episode 21) – Trippy as hell. You will drink a lot.
2. The Fisher King (Season 1 Finale & Season 2 Premiere) – Two-parter = double the drinks.
3. Lucky (Season 3, Episode 8) – Featuring the most messed-up unsub ever.

Most Emotional BAU Drama:

1. 100 (Season 5, Episode 9) – Warning: You will cry. Drink accordingly.
2. Revelations (Season 2, Episode 15) – Reid gets kidnapped. Again. Drink responsibly.
3. Lauren (Season 6, Episode 18) – Emily Prentiss fans, prepare to chug.

Wild & Unsub-Worthy Variations for Criminal Minds

So, you think you’ve mastered the standard Criminal Minds drinking game? Think again. The BAU never stops evolving, and neither should your drinking rules. It’s time to step up your game with some unsub-level variations that will leave your FBI profilers (aka, your drunk friends) questioning all their life choices.

Prepare for absolute chaos. But, as always—drink responsibly and don’t go full psychopath.

1. “The BAU Jet Challenge” – High-Flying Mayhem 

• Everyone takes a drink every time the BAU jet appears.
• If a character dramatically stares out of the jet window, chug your drink.
• If the entire team is in the jet at the beginning AND end of the episode, finish your drink.

(Warning: You may regret this by Episode 3.)

2. “Garcia’s Tech Wizardry” – Hacker Overload 

• Take a sip every time Garcia says something geeky and flirty at the same time.
• Take a shot if she finds a lead that saves the day in under 5 seconds.
• Chug if she mentions her “babies” (aka her computers) like they are sentient.
• Finish your drink if she hacks into something that shouldn’t legally be hackable (CIA, Pentagon, or some random dude’s phone records in under 3 clicks).

(Are you a tech genius or just drunk? Time will tell.)

3. “The Reid Genius IQ Gauntlet” – Brain vs. Booze 

• If Reid gives one random statistic, take a sip.
• If Reid gives THREE OR MORE statistics in one breath, take a drink.
• If Reid gets insanely excited about a rare psychological concept, chug.
• If someone says, “How do you even know that?” to Reid, finish your drink.

(This version will make you feel like you lost 50 IQ points by episode two.)

4. “The JJ Sympathy Sip” – Emotion Overload 

• Take a sip if JJ delivers devastating news with puppy-dog eyes.
• Take a drink if JJ’s voice cracks while trying not to cry.
• Chug if JJ has to talk a victim down from a terrible life choice.
• Finish your drink if JJ is personally connected to the case (because of course she is).

(Emotionally compromised? So is your liver.)

5. “The Unsub Mind Games Challenge” – Predict Like a Profiler 

• Before the team reveals the killer, guess who the unsub is.
• If you’re right: You get to make someone else drink.
• If you’re wrong: You take a drink.
• If the unsub is a cop, family member, or the victim’s ex, chug.
• Finish your drink if the killer had a weird obsession with eyes, dolls, or Shakespeare quotes.

(Trust your instincts… or regret them.)

6. “Hotchner’s Emotionless Marathon” – The Poker Face Deathmatch 

• Take a sip if Hotch stares at someone in stone-cold silence.
• Take a drink if Hotch gives a monologue with ZERO facial expression.
• Chug if Hotch actually smiles (this might take seasons).
• Finish your drink if Hotch says something vaguely threatening in a monotone voice and someone actually listens.

(Congratulations, you just drank enough to be legally classified as a Hotchner impersonator.)

7. “Morgan’s Door-Kicking Madness” – The Tactical Entry Challenge 

• Take a sip if Morgan calls someone “Kid.”
• Take a drink if Morgan kicks a door down.
• Chug if he kicks a door that was obviously unlocked.
• Finish your drink if Morgan tackles someone mid-sentence and they were NOT the unsub.

(Your liver may not survive this, but neither do most BAU doors.)

8. “The Profiling Power Hour” – A Race Against Time 

• Every 10 minutes, take a sip if the team is still figuring out the unsub’s profile.
• Every 20 minutes, take a drink if they change the profile completely.
• If the profile includes “white male, 30s, troubled childhood” (aka 90% of the unsubs), chug.
• Finish your drink if the unsub actually matches the original profile without changes. (This will never happen.)

(Warning: This game mode turns a normal Criminal Minds episode into a personal vendetta against your ability to function.)

9. The “Season Finale Blackout” Mode

• Start at the beginning of a season finale episode.
• Every time a major character is shot, kidnapped, or forced to quit the BAU, take a drink.
• Chug if there’s a cliffhanger ending that makes you question everything.
• Finish your drink if you immediately start the next season to find out what happens.

(Welcome to the abyss. You live here now.)

Themed Drink Ideas for The Criminal Minds Party

No FBI party is complete without the right drinks. Whether you’re taking shots after Reid goes on a rant or sipping during an intense Hotch stare-down, these Criminal Minds-inspired cocktails will make your drinking game even more immersive.

Reid’s Genius Juice (Brainpower in a Glass) 

📌 What’s in it? Vodka, blue curaçao, lemonade, and a splash of Red Bull (because you need to keep up with Reid’s energy levels).
📌 When to drink it? Every time Reid drops a fact no one asked for.

Garcia’s Glitter Bomb (Sweet, Sassy, and Dangerous) 

📌 What’s in it? Raspberry vodka, pink lemonade, and edible glitter.
📌 When to drink it? Anytime Garcia flirts with Morgan (which is basically every episode).

Hotch’s Stone-Cold Old Fashioned (Zero Emotion, Maximum Impact) 

📌 What’s in it? Bourbon, bitters, sugar, and an ice cube as cold as Hotch’s stare.
📌 When to drink it? Whenever Hotch says “Wheels up in 30.”

Morgan’s Tactical Tequila Shot (For When Things Get Intense) 

📌 What’s in it? Straight tequila. No mixers. No mercy.
📌 When to drink it? If Morgan kicks down a door.

Criminal Minds Snack Pairings

Binge-watching Criminal Minds while drinking requires fuel. Here are some FBI-themed snacks to keep your party going.

Profiled Popcorn

• Classic popcorn seasoned based on the episode’s setting (Cajun spice for Louisiana episodes, chili powder for Texas cases, etc.).
• Drink every time you correctly predict the unsub before the BAU does.

Morgan’s Macho Nachos

• Spicy nachos loaded with jalapeños, because you need to match Morgan’s energy.
• Take a shot if someone dramatically tackles a suspect.

Reid’s Smart Snack Mix

• A mix of nuts, dried fruit, and dark chocolate—something brainy like Reid would eat.
• Sip your drink if Reid casually drops his IQ number (187, in case you forgot).

Garcia’s Sweet & Salty Mix

• Gummy bears, pretzels, M&Ms—pure chaos in a bowl (just like Garcia’s personality).
• Take a shot if Garcia saves the day with some ridiculous hacking magic.

Safe Drinking Tips & Alternative Game Ideas

Because even the BAU knows when to call for backup.

How to Make the Game Fun Without Overdrinking:

✔️ Use water breaks. Hydration is key.
✔️ Switch to mocktails halfway through. (“Reid’s Genius Juice” works great as a non-alcoholic option!)
✔️ Set a drink limit per episode.

A Non-Alcoholic Version (For the Sober Profilers!)

• Instead of drinking, assign dare challenges for each rule.
• Every time you’d normally take a shot, answer a random trivia question about Criminal Minds.
• If you get it wrong, you must speak in a Hotchner monotone for 2 minutes.

(Because not everyone wants to wake up questioning their life choices.)

Final Words of Wisdom: Don’t Be the Unsub

If you made it through this entire game without blacking out, congratulations! The Criminal Minds drinking game isn’t just about getting tipsy—it’s about fully immersing yourself in the ridiculous, intense, and dramatic world of the BAU.

Whether you play casually or go full “Unsub Mode,” just remember:
👉 Drink responsibly.
👉 Pace yourself.
👉 And don’t let Morgan catch you slacking—he will make you take another drink.